Never let go
"What?? He hasn't tried anything???"
Janie heard her cousin yell at her from the
other end of the line. She had to talk to her now for over 1 hour, cause Melissa,
her cousin, just didn't wanted to stop. Melissa and Janie were always very close
to each other and played together as they were kids and they probably knew each
other in and out, but Janie never really liked her. Of course she did what she
said, cause Melissa was 2 years older then her, and in a strange kinda way, she
believed what Melissa said, but she felt bad, when she talked to her. She just
told her about her boyfriend Taylor. Taylor Hanson, a guy, who can get every
girl, cause he played with his brothers in a very popular band and was seen all
over the TV and Magazines, asked her out, as she met Hanson after one concert.
They have been together for 2 months now, and had such a great time, but he never
had tried anything. They kissed, but that was all, but Janie didn't mind, and she
also didn't noticed, cause she was on cloud 7 since they had been together and so
she told everyone about her luck.
"Yeah, but whatz wrong with that?" Janie answered and giggled.
"Well hon, I have two opinions: 1. he's gay, or 2. he doesn't love you. Has he
told you that he loves you?"
Melissa answered and Janie fell into thoughts.
Actually she can't remember one time Tay told her, that he loves her, but she
never missed these three words, cause every smile he gave her, let her know how
much he loves her. Well, but now she wasn't that sure anymore...
"No, he never did..." Janie answered silently.
"WHAT??? Oh Baby, you have to ask him then!! I mean, don't you want that promise?
Or do you think he's gay??" Melissa answered and giggled. Janie let out a sighing
giggle.
"Well, then I have to ask him I guess..."
"You have to! Is he coming to you in time?"
"Yeah, in half an hour..." She answered still in thoughts.
"Well, okay, so you'll ask him then and I'll let you go now!"
"Okay..."
"Okay, bye!"
"Bye." Janie put down the telephone and stood beside the chair for a while,
before she went to her room to clear it a bit, before Tay would come to her...
Half an hour later the door bell rang and she went to the door slowly and opened
it, with Tay smiling huge in front of her. Suddenly all her thoughts were blown
away for a second at his huge smile and she smiled lovely back, as he took her
gently into his arms and kissed her softly.
"Hey Sweety..." He said sweetly, while rubbing his nose onto hers and she smiled
happily.
"Hey Cutey..." She answered and kissed him one more time, before he let her go and
they both went into her room, where they sit down on the bed and talked for a
while about what had happened in the last few days, and then half layed down on
the bed with Janie hugging him with her cheek on his chest. He softly caressed
above her hair and smiled happily, as she suddenly get the question back to her
head and asked:
"Tay?" He let out an responding sigh and Janie took a deep breath and continued.
"Do you love me?" He suddenly stopped caressing and opened his eyes in a sudden,
his heart beating faster. He pulled away from her and sat down disappointed on
the edge of the bed, grabbing his shoes, while whispering:
"I can't believe you asked me that..." He put on his shoes with tears in his
eyes, while Janie tried to hold him back from leaving.
"Tay, wait, please, it wasn't meant that way!" But he just stood up and went to
the door, while saying:
"Leave me alone and think about what you did to me with asking that." He said in
tears and closed the door behind him, while Janie stayed on her bed shocked and
then started to cry really hard...
Tay opened silently the door to the Hansons house, but it was too silent to not
let his brother know, whatz wrong, cause Ike was sitting in the living room.
"Tay?" he asked while standing up from the couch and walking to his younger
brother who stood there in disappointed and sad tears in the floor.
"Whatz wrong? Didn't you just come from Janie?" He asked while putting gently his
hand on Tays shoulder.
"She...she..she asked me if I love her..." Tay answered sobbing and looked
embaressed to the ground, while Ike just stared at him, knowing how much he exactly
loves Janie, but never told her how much, cause he was too shy to do it. Then he
took his arms around his brother and hugged him.
"It'll be all okay..." He whispered and lead him to the living room, where they
both sat down and Tay hardly stopped crying and told Ike about what had happen
and what he feels and thinks...
15 minutes after Tay arrived with his car at their house, the door bell rang and
Ike and Tay looked at each other curiously, before Ike stood up to open the door.
In front of him was Janie. With red eyes from tears and wet all over her body,
cause it was raining outside.
"Can...can I come in?" She asked shyly and Ike pulled away from the door
immediatly to let her in and closed the door behind her, as she slowly went to
the living room, cause she noticed Tay in there.
She sadly stumbled towards the couch he was sitting on, while he gave her a quick
look in her eyes and his eyes seemed hurted like the ones of a little child when
itz not allowed to go to disneyland. He looked to the ground, while Janie
stopped standing beside him and began sobbing:
"Tay...I'm... I'm so sorry for what I said...I know it was wrong to ask
that...put..it just came to my mind, cause you never told me and I can't live
without knowing that you love me just the way I love you too...I'm so sorry..."
Tay heard her tearsdrops hit the floor and his heart hurt so much cause he felt
the love in her tears and in her words. He looked at her again and a tear ran
down his face, while he held out his hand and took hers and said quietly:
"Come here." She immediately sat down next to him, as he pulled his arms around
her and hugged her tightly, while taking a deep breath of her smell and Janie
started to cry again.
"I'm so sorry that I hurt ya..." She said sobbing and squeezed him tigthly, while
he softly caressed above her head.
"Shhh...itz okay Baby...don't think now..." He answered silently and pulled a
little bit away from her to look in her eyes and asked:
"Wanna go upstairs?" She nodded, while he whiped away a tear from her cheek with
his thumb, took her hands and lead her up to his room, where they laid down on
his bed and he started to hug her again tightly and caressed her gently. After
some time he noticed that she stopped crying and had fallen to sleep and he
smiled relieving and kissed her lids softly, while still caressing her.
She woke up again after 1 hour and looked in Tays eyes, as she opened hers. He
kissed her softly and then said smiling:
"Cutey,I love you and I will never let you go." He caressed above her cheek and
she answered sighing:
"I love you too Sweety." He kissed her again, while his heart was beating faster
and then asked, while pulling her tight towards him.
"What made you think that I don't love you?"
"Well, it may sound stupid...but...my cousin made me think it." He looked at her
curiously.
"She said that she can't believe that you haven't tried anything yet and that you
must be gay or don't love me."
"Hey, honey, what do you want me to do?? Making out with you all day long?" he
asked giggling and his cheeks turned into a bright red.
"NO! Tay, I'm more then happy with what we got!!" She answered giggling and
nipped into his stomach.
"But...well, other guys want more and so it was kinda strange to me that you
didn't..." She answered seriously but smiling and looked in his eyes.
"Hey, you know, I'm not like the other guys...." He answered pretending to be
Michael Jackson in Thriller and made his eyes wide open trying to scare her
but she just giggled and he became serious again and continued:
"Well hon, itz not that I don't want to feel more of you..." and he looked
embarressed down, while putting his ellbow on the pillow, so he had his
head in his shoulder.
"But?" she asked curiously and he continued:
"Well...erm...I'm anxious to make anything wrong so that you don't like it...cuz,
you know, I may have had girlfriends before, but they all broke up with me, cause
I wasn't that passionate as they thought I am..." She thought about what he said.
The last and first time they did more then kissing was long ago and he just
softly caressed for a second her breast and then pulled away from her, embaressed
and they didn't even kissed anymore on that day.
"You're kidding me, aren't you?" She said grinning, cause she couldn't believe
him being that cute.
"NO! Why should I lie about something that embaressing??" He answered giggling
and his eyes sparkled.
"Dunno!! Itz just...I stand there, seeing you in concert with that singlet on and
I think 'why do these girls have that awesome view at him, and me as his gf don't
even know all of his awesome body?!'!" she said and then blushed, cause she
didn't wanted to push him into something, but his body made her crazy. Tay smiled
big at her and caressed above her cheek, as they looked deep into their eyes and
he slowly pulled away from her and undressed his T-Shirt so she saw his blank
chest and almost fainted as he softly lay down on her.
"Better that way?" He asked while rubbing his nose shyly grinning onto hers and
she nodded with shining eyes, her heart beating faster as she felt his breath on
her skin.
"Wait." She whispered, softly pulled him away and undressed her shirt also so she
just lay there with her bra on and grinned at him.
"I wanna feel YOUR skin too." she whispered and caressed his back with her
fingertips as they smiled at each other and started to kiss...
They have just been laying there, hugging each other for over one hour, as rudely
the door crashed open and Zac jumped in. He stood there shocked in the room,
while he noticed what he was seeing, became wide eyes and then grinned.
"Whhooooohhooo, is it true what I'm seeing?? Tay half naked in a bed with a
girl??" He asked making fool of Tay, while Janie and Tay just looked at each
other smiling and Janie said giggling:
"Shut up Zac! You're such an idiot sometimes!" Tay also started to giggle with
closed eyes, as she softly caressed above his cheek and kissed it, while Zac was
leaving bored the room again.
"Itz also time for me to go." She whispered and looked in his eyes. He replied
her look and then kissed her lips softly.
"I miss ya already." He said and smiled at her, as she grinned back and then
slowly pulled out of the bed,searching for her shirt and dressed herself again,
while he stayed laying on the bed and looked at her. As she finshed dressing
herself again, he also sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hands in his.
"Nice reason for our first argument, huh?" He asked grinning and she giggled and
answered:
"I love you." They kissed again and then he lead her down to the door and hardly
she had to leave...
The next day, after school Janie checked her answering machine with all the
regular things like:'hi, wazzup itz Annie, call me back! Bye!' as she suddenly
heard a very similar voice saying:
"Hey my little angel, itz Tay! well, I wrote a song about yesterday and maybe you
wanna hear it..." She sat down and said to herself smiling: "Sure Baby..." and he
said after the break where she "answered" :
"Okay, fine honey, here it is!" And he
started to sing:
"Just lay down And let your worries sleep Don't think now The water's dark and
Deep
Cause you know That I love you and never let go And you know
That I love you forever I love you and never let go Yes I love you and never let
go
Just cry out Yeah I've cried those tears before I can feel it now
As your teardrops hit the floor
You were wrong to ask me Do I love you? As I hold you it says how much I do
I'm yours until forever is through
Every time I stand before you I know I'd lay down my life for you"
As he stopped
singing Janie had tears of happiness in her eyes and listened carefully to what
he said:
"I love you baby. Can't wait to see ya again. Buh-bye!"
She smiled and thanked god for Tay....
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